PERFECTIONISM &
SELF CRITICISM
Freud described the superego as a kind of internal observer — part judge, part parent, part ghost of cultural expectations — that watches, evaluates, and punishes from within. For many people struggling with perfectionism and self-criticism, the superego doesn’t simply guide behavior; it shames the self. It speaks in absolutes, with a harshness that exceeds any real person: you should have known better, you’re never going to get this right, everyone sees through you. Its demand for perfection is often an attempt at protection — against humiliation, rejection, or loss of control — but it achieves this through cruelty.
Over time, this inner pressure rarely produces clarity. More often, it leads to chronic rumination, second-guessing, and paralysis. Decisions feel risky; choices are endlessly revised. Action is delayed not because you don’t care, but because no option feels safe enough to commit to. Perfectionism keeps the mind in motion — rehearsing, correcting, anticipating — while life waits.
Even when you succeed, it doesn’t land
Perfectionism rarely feels like perfection. On the surface, it can look like discipline, conscientiousness, or high standards. But internally, it often feels like a relentless vibration — the sense that you're never quite done, never quite enough, never fully permitted to rest. Even achievements don't settle; they evaporate almost instantly, replaced by the next thing you "should" be doing.
In therapy, we slow the process down enough to notice what this vigilance is guarding and what it costs. The work isn’t about lowering standards or becoming less driven. It’s about loosening the grip of self-criticism so thought can turn into movement again. When fear no longer has to run the show, clarity returns. Decisions become possible. And effort can finally be directed toward something that feels meaningful, not merely defensible.
GET IN TOUCH
If you’d like to share more details (availability, fees, therapist preferences), please use our full inquiry form. You can also book a consultation directly with your preferred clinician.