RELATIONSHIPS & INTIMACY
Intimacy isn’t only about closeness. It’s about what happens inside you when closeness becomes possible. Many people want connection while simultaneously bracing against it. What looks like independence, ambivalence, or even disinterest is often a protective response to vulnerability. Intimacy doesn’t just expose us to another person; it exposes us to ourselves.
Intimacy often brings us face-to-face with parts of ourselves that don’t appear elsewhere — longings, insecurities, tenderness, aggression, need. These parts tend to emerge not in isolation, but in relationship.
We don’t enter relationships empty-handed. Each of us carries an internal history that shapes how we love and how we protect.
Some people reach for reassurance, while others protect themselves through distance. These ways of relating aren’t problematic in and of themselves. They’re adaptations formed long before the present relationship, often in response to what once felt necessary to stay safe or connected. Yet they often become problematic when in relationship.
Over time, relationships and intimacy become less about protection and more about participation.
The aim of therapy for relationship issues isn’t to prescribe how to relate, but to expand your capacity to stay present with closeness and distance as they arise, without losing yourself or retreating behind old defenses. Over time, relationships and intimacy become less about protection and more about participation.
In individual therapy, intimacy is explored from the inside out. Rather than focusing on how to relate differently on the surface, the work turns toward what intimacy activates beneath awareness. As these inner dynamics become more familiar, intimacy begins to feel less reactive and less fraught.
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